the pitfalls of smelling good.

it is my professional opinion that one of the highest compliments one can receive is “wow, you smell good!” it resonates with my inner clean-freak, and it makes me feel like my presence is noticed by smell before sight. that is what “your reputation follows you” means, people. but, with great blessing comes great responsibility. and as anyone can attest to, it is very hard to have to live up to people’s expectations of you every single day. i can rant and i can rave, and these are the true confessions of someone who smells good, all of the time.

you literally spray your money into thin air.

depending on your signature scent, it can get expensive to keep allowing perfume to dissipate every single day. in most of the consumer world, it is true that the bigger the item, the bigger the price. not with perfume. the smallest bottles that contain, like, 4 fluid ounces, can cost an arm and a leg. most of my research has shown that this is due to the ungodly amounts of decoration that go into each bottle. am i paying $85 to smell nice, or is it all going to fund this obnoxious plastic flower on top of the bottle? i really don’t know anymore. america really needs to embrace the simple. less is more.

bees are attracted to your skin.

i don’t know if it is the sun reflecting on my translucent skin that charms these little yellow and black spawn of satan, or if it is my goji berry and mango lotion that gets their smellers all tingly, but i am over it. i’ve only been actually stung once, but the fear is enough to keep me in long sleeves on an 80 degree day. i know i smell good. so do flowers. and flowers love you. they need you. stay away from my glowing skin.

people try to copy your scent.

as any girl can attest to, it is the most annoying thing in the world to get copied. i guess to a certain extent it can be flattering, but that line is drawn when it comes to the way i smell. there are 9,000 scents out there, are you seriously going to try and pretend that you just happened to pick the same one i did? no. you smelled me, you asked about it, you bought it.

airport security is the black hole of good perfume. 

has anyone ever really bought any type of good perfume that can fit into 3 fluid ounces? answer: no. they are at least 3 fluid ounces, and the only ones that are sold in small bottles are both expensive and unsavory. i have literally opted to check my bag for a 3-day trip, so that i don’t have to fight security to let my bottle of daisy by marc jacobs go through. it smells that good.(on me, not you. don’t you dare go buy it.)

it is a very fine line between, “wow you smell good!” and “wow, nice perfume…did you marinate in it?”

this one is tricky. because our noses get accustomed to the way we smell, we tend to spray a little bit more every day. it’s like a drug. once you reach a certain high, you need more in order to achieve that same high again. the compliments are also addicting. “yesterday i sprayed twice on my neck and i got 5 compliments, but i really think that i could get more compliments than that, so maybe i’ll spray three times or maybe three and a half…” it is a slippery slope, my friends.